Tuesday Trio 📖💿🎥 Sherlock Holmes

One book, one record, one movie

Hey y’all,

This is the third letter in a new series I’m calling “Tuesday Trio” — one book, one record, and one movie based on a theme. (The previous two themes: “Radioactivity” and “Problematic Gifts.”) Today’s theme: Sherlock Holmes.

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📖 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle

What is the ideal setting for a reader to sit down and enjoy a Sherlock Holmes story? In his excellent short book, On Conan Doyle, critic Michael Dirda recalls his fifth grade encounter with The Hound of the Baskervilles:

With a dollar clutched in my fist, I pedaled my red Roadmaster bike to Whalen’s drugstore, where I quickly picked out two or three candy bars, a box of Cracker Jack, and a cold bottle of Orange Crush. After my family had driven off in our new 1958 Ford, I dragged a blanket from my bed, spread it on the reclining chair next to the living room’s brass floor lamp, carefully arranged my provisions near to hand, turned off all the other lights in the house, and crawled expectantly under the covers with my paperback of The Hound—just as the heavens began to boom with thunder and the rain to thump against the curtained windows.

Perfection! And if you can’t be a fifth grader again, maybe you can obtain the state Edward Abbey describes in Desert Solitaire:

“Business was poor and the time passed extremely slowly, as time should pass, with the days lingering and long, spacious and free as the summers of childhood. There was time enough for once to do nothing, or next to nothing…”

Perhaps the best time to read Sherlock Holmes (or anything else, for that matter) is when you’re in between things. The thing I find most relatable about the famous detective is how worthless he feels when he doesn’t have a case to work on — staring off into space, playing violin, doing a 7% solution of cocaine out of boredom. Many a Sherlock Holmes story begins with idleness — Holmes and Watson sitting in their apartment by the fireplace, doing a bunch of nothing. Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door, and the game’s afoot. The adventure begins…

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💿 Sparks, Angst in my Pants

The band Sparks is a duo of two brothers, Ron and Russell Mael. The duo at the heart of Sherlock Holmes is a literary archetype you can trace, as Orwell did, backwards to Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, and forwards to Jeeves and Wooster. (Maybe even to another favorite of mine, Withnail & I.) It is the duo that gives the stories their power: you simply can’t have a real Sherlock Holmes story without a Watson. (Michael Dirda points out that The Hound of the Baskervilles is an odd starting point for a Sherlock newbie because Holmes and Watson are separated for so much of the book.)

The tone of every one of Watson’s tales is basically: Let me tell you about the coolest dude I ever knew. And that’s the tone of “Sherlock Holmes,” from Sparks’ 11th record, Angst in My Pants. It’s a moody, romantic song unlike any of the other tracks on the record, or most of the tracks in the Sparks oeuvre, for that matter.

Fog matters to you and me
But it can't touch Sherlock Holmes
Dogs bark and he knows their breed
And knows where they went last night
Knows their masters too
Oh baby, hold me tight…

The rest of the song encourages the listener to “spend the night” and “just pretend I’m Sherlock Holmes.” Which is funny, because Holmes is not a Casanova! He intentionally stays away from romance and any strong emotion which takes him away from his work. (Exceptions are made for Irene Adler, aka “The Woman.” And Holmes can certainly turn on the charm when he needs to get a story out of a witness.)

The song, like all great pop songs, is mostly nonsense. But it nails the vibe. Have a listen: